Much I have written about the Kiwi mentality, particularly during the first two or three years here. Now, it's going to be five years in September since we moved here. My views haven't changed a lot, included the fact that the mentality here is a lot more different from the German and Spanish one than I expected.
Maybe I haven't put it like this: the New Zealanders, especially the so-called "New Zealand European", that is people whose ancestors have immigrated from Europe but who were already born here, stick out to me with the following attitude: they are striving with all their strength to be a valuable member of the human society, helpful and friendly towards any other people regardless their provenience, race, sex, social status, orientation and beliefs. Show-off and pride of rank or class-consciousness, or bullying, are ostracised (on the emotional side, these latter demeanours are related to aggression and sometimes anger, emotions Kiwis try to control as much as possible). They impose on themselves a quite strict code of conduct, and try to be as least a burden to others as possible (if you ignore the sense of entitlement some have acquired).
I have never experienced a society, where these values are as high-held as here. I know the German and the Spanish society best of course, but the impressions I got on my travels to other European societies and the South African one are not comparable in that regard either.
This omnipresent code of attitude and conduct stands in a peculiar contrast to the laid-back attitude that is usually accredited to the inhabitants of this country, as it can put the not-so-happy or needier members of this society under considerable stress.
It pushes the boundaries of human capabilities of endurance, integrity and social skills, and ability to love and sacrifice. This society really bangs their head against the wall of human limitations and ungodliness.
The dark side of it is that, where anger is banned and deemed "uncool", anxiety breaks through and forges ahead, as a more socially accepted emotion.
In my work as a GP, I am stunned by the prevalence of anxiety disorders, and people bashfully "confessing" they need anger management sessions (whereas anxiety is much better tolerated by the affected individual themselves), between all those happy people who answer my initial question how they are with "I'm good, doctor".
I am well aware that I am writing these lines from my very own German perspective, so it may sound weird to local ears, because they have been brought up with this codex and experienced it as being given. For me as an individual in a relatively comfortable position, the positive effect of the Kiwi attitude is much more apparent, as it is for Elena and the kids. But ...
However, another general observation of mine is that people who are distressed of life feel that most in their middle ages, whereas older people tend to be conciliated with life, whereas in Germany the middle age seems to be easier than age, when Germans often display a résumé of general disappointment and bitterness about life - something I don't see here very often. I continue to learn.
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